Fans

My husband likes fans. And by fans, I mean those round oscillating devices designed to blow air. While I prefer our home to be cooled with a dose of central air (65 degrees is my ideal temperature), to my chagrin, he prefers to be cooled by fans (75 degrees or higher is his ideal temperature).

He likes and has owned a lot of fans: fans with tall stands, fans that need to propped on tables and desks, heavy duty fans, white fans, black fans, etc.; as long as it rotates and spews out (hot or cool) air, he's happy. He even has a track record of overused, broken fans that have had to be replaced because they couldn't handle the 24-hour a day work schedule. 

But he doesn't just use fans to cool himself off. Now he's using them as dryers. Dryers for what, you might ask? Let me provide you with two recent examples:

Scenario One
Last week, I was sick. I diagnosed myself with food poisoning from a restaurant that I'm considering returning to because the food was delicious. But I digress. I came home, vomited on the floor in front of him, and attempted to clean it up. He finished the cleaning process and below is his attempt to dry the floor:

Scenario Two
He made himself a salad as part of his dinner last night and began by washing the lettuce. Exhibits A and B below are his lettuce-drying efforts.

I laughed for several minutes before I ran to get my camera. He's out of town now, and needless to say, all of the fans are off and the central air is on.